Naruto Tourture Hour: SEASON 2!
by Jet-The-Stray
Summary: Behold! The second season of Naruto Tourture Hour! Witness Sasuke Bashing! Naruto Tourturing! and Neji Poking! PLease reveiw if you read!
1. YAY!

**Naruto Tourture Hour: Season 2!!**

Me: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! I'M BACK AND BETTA THEN EVA!!

Naruto: NOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOO!! GOD WHY!?

Hinata: ...hugs Dalton

Me: Yay!

NaruHina fans: Awwww...

Sasuke: Hn...

Me: Ok, you guys know how this works right? No? well to refresh you're memory i will make a random thing of tourtures so...yeah...

1. Sasuke, ADMIT YOU ARE WEAKER THAN DALTON! OR GO THROUGH THE 1000 YEARS OF DEATH!

2. Naruto, NO Ramen for you!!

3. Sakura, YOU MUST SUFER THE 1000 YEARS OF DEATH!!

Me: And then this happens...

Sasuke: No...

Me: Then you have to go through the 1000 years of death.

Sasuke: I'd rather suffer death...

Me: So be it...

(a giant pleretha of weapons and tourture things come out of nowhere)

Sasuke: O.O

Me: Well...go suffer...

Naruto: NooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Me: Are you going to scream almost every time?

Naruto: (sulking in emo corner)

Sakura: Why me?

Me: Because, you annoy me to no end...

Sakura: Oh...(goes to be tourtured)

Me: Haahhh...i'm exhausted...well, i hope you enjoyed what little we have for a tourture show right now, but i promise next time to be more funny and stuff, so PLEASE REVEIW!!

**PLease reveiw or many pideons will suffer being blown up by canadians.**


	2. One Reveiw!

**Naruto Tourture Hour: SEASON 2!!**

Me: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! TOURTURES GALOR! YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!

Naruto: Why must the good be tourtured so!?

Sai: because.

Sakura: Well said...

Me: Hurray for the one reveiwer we got a reveiw from!! So here is our reveiwer, theifkingbaka4eva!!

_YES!! SEASON 2! here are some torture ideas  
Hinata: Kick Naruto where it counts-hard!  
Sasuke: Stay in an enclosed space surrounded by rabid fangirls with no escape  
possible! for a week!  
Itachi: ..cause i am lazy and have no better ideas, he has to waltz around in  
a bikini for a week. (heh, heh.)  
Kakashi: Has to watch his Make-Out Paradise books be torn into little bits  
and burned...one page at a time! muhahahaha! :D  
so maybe these are stupid, but oh well. good luck with Season 2 i'm looking  
forward to updates!  
p.s. i got one for Neji: Wear Naruto's classic blinding orange jumpsuit for a  
week. :D  
_

Me: These arent stupid...THEY ARE HILARUOIUS!!

Hinata: Finally!! Ah! I mean...d-do i have t-to?

Naruto: Hey Hinata long time no see!

Hinata: Hi Naruto...

Naruto: Hey Hinata, why do you look...GAH! OMG! IT HURTS SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!

Inside Naruto...

Kyuubi: HOLY CRAP! SWEET JESUS! GOD IT HURTS! (cries)

Sasuke: But i dont wanna! Waaaaaahhhhhh!!

Sakura: its ok sweetie...mommies here...

All: Wtf!?

Me: Awwww...oh well! Sasuke! Itachi is badly wounded and vulnerable! Quick before he escapes!

Sasuke: MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!! REVENGE!! (goes into closet)

Rabid fan girl #1: Saasssssssssssssukkkeeeeeee-kuuuuuuuuunnnnn!!

Rabid fan girl #2: We love youuuuuuuuuuu!!

Ino: Quick! Rip his clothes off!!

Sasuke: Oh crap...AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Me: Muahahahahahahahahah!!

Itachi: Why do i have to?

Sai: Because the Auther can make you.

Itachi:fine... (goes into closet)

Itachi comes out of the closset and everybody starts laughing

Me: HOLY CRAP! HE'S WEARING AN ITSY BITSY TEENY WEENIE YELLOW POLKA DOT BIKINI!

Itachi: I hate you all...

Kakashi: Nooooooo!! Not again!!

Me: Yes again! -starts ripping and burning all the pages to the books-

Kakashi: No...my babies...-starts crying-

Neji: Oh god, not that accursed thing...-inside mind- Finally! I always wanted to wear it!

Me: Ok then, go into the hospital to change.

Neji goes in and comes out looking almost exactly like Naruto.

Neji: Wow, i almost look like Naruto, Dattebyo! -clasps mouth-

Me: Muahahahahahahahahah!! Well i guess that is all for today, please keep sending in those reveiws! Please, or none of us will have jobs! PLEASE!!

**Some Charecters Were Harmed in the Making of this Fanfic, please do not abuse and please laugh responsibaly.**

**I DONT OWN NARUTO! GEEZ!**


	3. Hilarious!

**Naruto Tourture Hour: SEASON 2!!**

Me: YAY! MORE THAN ONE REVEIW THIS TIME!!

Hinata: I WUB YOU!! -glomps the all mighty author-

All: O.O

Naruto: Whats wrong with them?

Me: Ahem, Now that thats out of our systesms...here is our First Reveiwer: Zai-chan13!!

_Muahahahaha! I love this fic! torture is so entertaining...anyways, here's my  
ideas!  
Sasuke: die your hair a rainbow of colors, wear a frilly pink dress, skip  
around singing about how gay you are, then hug itachi and orochimaru and tell  
them how much you love them._

Neji: sing "Hollaback Girl" by gwen stefani (somebody else should record  
this...)

Gaara: you are awesome!! now go kill deidara.

Itachi: Use Tsukyomi on deidara. make him watch cheetah girls and hannah  
montana for 72 hours.

Here's cookies for everyone! keep up the great work!

Zai-chan13

Sasuke: This has happened once before...

FLASH BACK!! OOOOOOooooooooooooooooOOOOOOooooooo!!

Season 1...

Me: MUAHAHAHAHAH!! SASUKES HAIR IS PINK AND ORANGE!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Sasuke: -sulking in corner- i hate you all! TT

END OF FLASH BACK!! OOOOOOooooooooooOOOoooOOOoOOO!!

Me: Except this time you have to say you Love Itachi and Orochimaru!

Sasuke: I hate you all...

Me: We know!

30 hilarious minutes later...

Sasuke comes out like a girl in Rainbow colored pig tails.

All:...Bwahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhaah!!

Sasugay: WHYYYYYYYY!?

Me: -still laughing- B-b-b-because i-its funny!! Ahahahahahahahahah!!

Orochimaru: Sasu-kun! You look So hot!! -nose bleeds-

Itachi: Hn...

Sasuke: -thinking- lets get this over with...

Sasuke: I'm so gay, i want to love a man! _Orochi-kuuuun! _Itachi-kun! I love you both!!

Orochimaru: I LOVE YOU TO SASU-KUUUUUUNNNNNN!!

Itachi:...screw you...

Neji:ok...

Uh huh, this my uh

All the girls stomp your feet like this

A few times I've been around that track

So it's not just gonna happen like that

Cause I ain't no hollaback girl

I ain't no hollaback girl

2x

Oooh, this my Shit , this my uh 4x

I heard that you were talking uh

And you didn't think that I would hear it

People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up

So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack

Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out

That's right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up

A few times I've been around that track

So it's not just gonna happen like that

Cause I ain't no hollaback girl

I ain't no hollaback girl

2x

Oooh, this my Shit , this my uh 4x

So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers

No principals, no student-teachers

Both of us want to be the winner, but there can only be one

So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all

Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you

That's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust

A few times I've been around that track

So it's not just gonna happen like that

Cause I ain't no hollaback girl

I ain't no hollaback girl

2x

Oooh, this my uh , this my uh 4x

Let me hear you say, this uh is bananas

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

this uh is bananas

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Again, this uh is bananas

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

This Uh is bananas

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

A few times I've been around that track

So it's not just gonna happen like that

Cause I ain't no hollaback girl

I ain't no hollaback girl

2x

Oooh, this my Uh! , this my Uh! 4x

Me: Sorry all! i got lazy on that part! Eheheheh...

Gaara: Thank you for the complement, but i have no reason to kill him.'

Me: -throws clay at him- DEIDARA DID IT!!

Gaara: Now i do...

Deidara: Oh no...my i'mgonnadiebecauseofDalton senses are tingling...

Gaara: DIE DEIDARA!!

Deidara: Gaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

20 minutes later...

Gaara: I tried to kill him, but every time i tried he came back to life!

Me: Oh yeah...nobody can die on this fic, i need them all for tourtures...

Itachi: well i guess its my turn...

Deidara: Noooooooo!! yeah.

Hannah Montanna: YOU GET THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!!

Deidara: GAH! IT BURRNSSSS!!

Me: YAYAAYAYAYYYYY!! COOKIES!! -starts eating cookies-

Itachi i guess i'll read the next reveiw...it's from naflegnadnas

_LOL! Itachi in a bikini...I am scarred for life by that mental image. xx  
Sakura-beat Sasuke into a bloody little pulp and scream "i hate you" the  
whole time.  
Naruto: swap outfits with...umm...Tenten, and wear them for a week!  
Itachi-paint your nails bright pink and glittery!!  
Gaara-wear a frilly, sparkly, sequin-covered pink dress for 24 hours!! (i  
love Gaara but it was too tempting..Kami forgive me..)  
Sasuke-act like a sweet little brother to Itachi and stay by his side for 48  
hours! NO MURDER ATTEMPTS ALLOWED!!  
-falls off chair laughing-  
hope these are ok!  
-bows-  
-sandangelfan  
_

Me: So you're screen name is backwards fo sandanglefan?kool.

Sakura: NO NO NO NO NO!!

Me: Yup! Ninja Art: Mind Destruction Jutsu!

Sakura: Uhh...-starts pummiling sasuke- I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!

Sasuke: Gah!

Naruto: Yay! i mean...EWWW!!

Tenten: Aww man!

Me: this should be good...

10 minutes later...

Naruto and tenten come out looking like each other.

All: Bwaahahahahahahhahaahh!!

Itachi: Well, its new...-paints nails-

Gaara: WEll if you love me why''d you do it?

Me: Because it was tempting!

Gaara: Fine...-puts on dress-

All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Sasuke: NEVER! I HATE HIM!

Me: Would you rather have me feed you to Zeetsu?

Sasuke: No...

Zetsu: Aww man! There goes my Dinner...

Itachi: Brother you lack hatred.

Sasuke: I love you big brober!

All: Wtf!?

Me: AHAHAHAHAHAH!! O-o-ok, our next reveiwer is from Karikari-taita!

_ROTFL! so.. funny... can't... talk...!Ok, so maybe I can, anyway,  
Sakura: make her stay away from Sasuke FOR A WEEK! MWAHAHAHAHA!  
Sasuke: make him do a photo shoot with all of his fangirls! hehehe!  
Itachi: make him act like one of Sasuke's fangirls, and make him stick to  
Sasuke for three days! - makes evil smile -  
Gaara: lock him in his room with ALL his fangirls,and make sure he doesn't  
use his powers!  
Hinata: make her stand in a room where Naruto can see her and make her throw  
darts at a poster of him!  
Naruto: make him do sexy no jutsu in front of Kakashi  
Neji: make him wear Gaara's outfit (the red one) and strap him to a wild  
bull!_

prodigis

Sakura: FOR A WEEK! I'LL DIE!

Sasuke: I wont!

Me: Time to use the new safe i wanted to use!-throws sakura into safe and locks door-

Sasuke: a photo shoot? sounds fun. -goes to photo shoot- OH MY GOD!

Fangirls: YAAAAAAYYYYYY!!

Itachi: SASUKE!! I LOVE YOOUUU!!

Gaara: why would i do that?

Me: because you get cookies.

Gaara: fine...-goes in closet-

-outside closet-: OH MY GOD! NO NOT THE FACE, GAHHHHH!!

All: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Hinata: that's good practice for kunai. -starts throwing darts-

Naruto: Hey hinata i- WHAT THE FUDGE!? WHY HINATA WHY! -starts crying-

Kakashi: Yay! i mean, hn...

Naruto: Fine...Oiroke-no jutsu!

Kakashi:-nose starts bleeeding-

Me: this is good! Our next reveiwer is, 3quartersandahartdown!

_konnichiwa and enjoy!  
Shino..squash all of your bugs  
Kiba..lock him in a roomful of cats  
Itachi..dress and act like Naruto for a week  
Sasuke..sing Barbie Girl for two hours straight..wearing Hannah Montana  
clothes  
Temari..use your giant fan for target practice  
Naruto..ask Hinata out..  
Hinata..reject him cruelly  
Kankuro..hack all your puppets to bits  
Kakashi..throw loads of kunai at your pervy books  
Shikamaru..say nothing but Dattebyo for a week  
i love this fic_

Shino:...WHY GOD WHY!? TT

Me: Just do it...

Shino: fine...goodbye my bugs...-squish- WAAAAAHHHHHH!!

Kiba: cats? just because i act like a dog means that i hate cats?!

Me: Maybe...

Kiba: alright, i'll go in...-goes into closet-

Cat: Meow.

Kiba: Gah! so...many...cats...-twitch-

Itachi: Fine...-puts on Naruto's clothes- I'll Become The Hokage! Dattebyo!

Sasuke: I'm a barbie girl! in the barbie worrrld!

Temari: Awwww! But my Daddy gave me this fan!

Me: Awwww...oh well! Do eeet! or feel the wrath of Nacho man!

Nacho man: NAAACHOOOOOO!!

Temari: o.O fine...-starts throwing kunai at fan-

Naruto: Ok, Hinata will you go out with me?

Hinata: No, you're stupid, ugly, and you smeel like a dead racoon!

Naruto: WAAAAAHHHH!!

Kankuro:say wha?

Me: You heard her! Do eeeettt!!

Kankuro: -sniff- ok...good by my puppets! -takes out chain saw and cuts them into itty bitty bits-

Kakashi: WHAAAAAT!?

Me: Just do it you moron...

Kakashe: -sniff- ok...

2 minutes later...

Kakashi: Waaaaahahahahahhhhh!! TT

Shikamaru: Meh, what a drag...

Me: no...Dattebyo!

Shikamaru fine...Dattebyo...

Me: YAAAAYYYY!! Ok...our next reveiwer is...huh? Who's Vikings love Ranch?

Itachi: Isn't that pie nee-chan?

Me: YAY PIE IS BACK! :DD

_HEHEHEHE!_

some characters where harmed in the making of this fanfic... lol, that's  
good

although i feel these chapters are short...

SO I AM HERE TO MAKE IT LONGER!

Kiba: do hentai for me! (oh,btw, i think i have gotten more pervy... in far  
away land Jiraya: HYPOCRITE!)

Gaara has to go on a wild hyper rampage with us!

rubs hands together evilly

Sasuke: GET BARNEY ARRESTED FOR HIS PEDOPHILE LIKE WAYS OR DROWN IN THE  
DREADED PEANUTBUTTER!

Itachi: please stop wearing that bikini... your one of my fav cousins, and i  
would never have you do such a thing... instead, WHERE A PINK TUTU OVER IT AND  
TWIRL AROUND AND TAKE IT OFF REVEALING THE BIKINI EVERY TIME SOMEONE SAYS :  
Naruto, you baka (that'll keep you going)

...and just for kicks, have a trivia contest with my little KT-chan! asking  
questions

KT: What's the meaning of life?

why can't sasuke eat peanut butter?

who's Mr. T?

WHY DON'T I HAVE A PRETTY PRINCESS DRESS?!

how are babies made?

do you think im pretty?

do you wub me?

(you can add questions)

okeedokey! that's about it!

CHYEAH! VIKINGS ARE AWESOME

Me: Wow...these are preety good...

Pie (vikings love ranch): Kiba-kun! PLease do Hentai for me!

Kiba: Hah, fine... Hentai! -turns into a sexier version of his former self-

Pie: -nose bleeds- i caqnt wait to get you home Kiba-kun!

Kiba: HELP MEEEEE!!

Gaara: I'm never hyper, so whats the point?

Me: I can make you hyper...-shoves hyper making cookie down his throught-

Gaara: Gah! What was that for!? Mu...mueheheh...MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!

Me: Yes...yes...! Now he is...HYPER GAARA!!

Gaara: Must...destroy...random...village...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Sasuke: That will be fun...-dials phone-

Barney: Heelo?

Sasuke: BARNEY! COME TO MY HOUSE AND PLAAAYYYY!!

Barney: Ok...-evil smile-

Sasuke: now i have th camera...computer...and phone...

Barney: Sasuke! I'm here to play!!

Cops: Freeze barney! you're being arrested for being a pedophile!

Barney: Awwww...shoot!

Sasuke: Huh, that was fun...

Me: But you'll still drown in peanut butter, for my amusement...

Sasuke: NOOOOOOO!!

Itachi: Why? -puts on dress-

Me: Naruto you baka! Dont touch my ramen!

Itachi: -flips skirt up-

KT: whats the meaning of life?

Me: The meaning of life is...SUSHI!

KT:Why camt Sasuke eat Peanut Butter?

Sasuke: BECAUSE ITS EVIL!!

KT:Who's Mr.T?

Gaara: My Uncle!

KT:WHY DON'T I HAVE A PREETY PRINCESS DRESS!?

Pie(Vikings love ranch): Cuz mommy can't afford it.

KT:How are babies made?

Sakura: Mr.Stork Delivers them!

KT: Doyou think i'm preety?

Konohamuru: Yes!

KT: Do you wub me?

Me: Of course!

KT:Yaaayyyy!!

Me: Well that's all we have for today, please send in more reveiws! Or there will be no more funny fanfic! Please!!

**PLEASE DON'T SUE ME! I DON'T OWN NARUTO! GOD! LEAVE ME ALOOOONEEE!! T.T**


	4. EVIL!

**Naruto Tourture Hour: SEASON 2!!**

Me: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! More tourturous Intent!!

Deidara: He's gone mad...MAD I TELL YOU! Un.

Me: Anyways, here is our next reveiwer, VIKINGS LOVE REANCH!!

_shakes fist in the air STUPID CANADIANS!_

okay...

FOR THE REST OF THE FIC BABYSIT MY KT-CHAN! I NEED A VACATION! is  
practically going more insane than normal

KT: TEA PARTY OF DOOM TIME!

Sasuke: PEANUT BUTTER TIME!

Naruto: give me a kiss!

Me: RAPE! SEXUAL HARRASMENT! HELP!

Kiba-kun, Dalton ONii-san: SAVE ME!

Lee: GIVE ORO A LAP DANCE!

Oro: PUT HIM/IT UNDER MIND CONTROL TO HATE IT!

Neji: MAKE OUT WITH A CHICKEN! you know you've always wanted it

okay...

deidara: let my baby give you a make over

KT: BWAHAHAHAHA!

Me: wipes tear im so proud... oh well! SO LONG SUCKERS!

CHYEAH! VIKINGS ARE AWESOME!  


Me: Wait, did she say baby-sit...KT!?

KT: Hello Dalton-oniisan! Were gonna have a fun day!

Me: Y-yeah Kt! Just so long as you promise to be good!

Kt: OK Uncle Dalton! -smiles-

Sasuke: No...no...NO!! NOT THE PEANUT BUTTER!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOO!!

KT: MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!! -thows sasuke in a giant vat of peanutbutter-

Sasuke: Noooo!! -blub blub-

Me: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Kt: who wants to play Tea party...OF DOOM!!

Me: o.o Lee does!

Lee: WHAT!?

KT: PLay with me please, OR DIE!!

Lee: Yip, y-yess mam...

Naruto: WHAT!? I HAVE TO KISS HER!?

VLR (vkings love ranch): YES! Naruto-niisan, i want to see if you hate me or not.

Naruto: Why would i do that?

Me: Because if you hurt her feelings you die by my hand. -holding chainsaw- (yes i am overprotective GOSH! get off my back)

Naruto: -so scared he wet himself- o-ok...-kisses VLR on the cheek-

VLR: OMG!! HE ACTUALLY DID IT! -pukes- HELP RAPE RAPE!!

Naruto: WHAT!?

Me and Kiba: Narutooooo...

Naruto: -turns around slowly- umm, uh...hey guys...Eheheh...AHHHHHH!! -gets beaten till he is no more-

Lee: WHAT!? THAT I UN YOUTHFUL!

Me: Do it or no doggy treats!

Lee:...fine...-censoring this part because thats just wrong...-

Oro: EWWWWW!! GET AWAY YOU FREAK!!

Neji: HOW DID YOU KNOW- i mean, eww...

Me: Ok, that was creepy on many levels...BUT DO EEET ANYWAYZ!!

Neji: -starts making out with a random chicken-

All: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH!!

Deidara: Wha? I like the way i look. un.

KT: Trust me, you'll look awesomer by the time i'm done!

Deidara: Ok.

30 minutes later...

Kt: THERE! YOU LOOK BEUTIFUL!

Deidara: -looks in mirror- OMFG! I'm BalD! AHHHHH!!-hides from all-

All: MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Me: Ahahahahahaahahah!!-can barely talk- O-o-ok, heres our next reveiwer, mangafreak777

_This is too funny! Hmm..tortures...  
Naruto-Scream "I LOVE SASUKE!" at the top of your lungs.  
Sasuke-Act like a Sakura fanboy  
Sakura-Laugh and say "As if, loser!" when Sasuke asks you out (sorry,  
3quartersanahartdown, I'm sort of stealing your idea)  
Neji-Dress like Temari for a week  
Gaara-...I won't torture you, cause you rock...  
Temari-Act like one of Shikamaru's rabid fangirls!!  
This'll be funny...  
_

Naruto: Say wha?

Me: Do it, or face my wrath...AGAIN!

Naruto: OK! SASUKE!! I LOOOOVVEEEEE YOOUUUU!U!!

All: Wtf? o.O

Sasuke: I'm free! i'm free from teh peanut butter!

Me: You'll go back in if you dont do the next tourture.

Sasuke: -sigh- fine...-clears throught- OMG! IT'S SAKURA! QUICK RIP HER CLOTHES OFF!

Sakura: -getting nose bleed- u-uh.

Sasuke: SAKURA! PLEASE GO OUT WIT ME!

Sakura: HAHAHAHAH! As if loser! -inside she has a broken heart-

Neji: Uhhhh...sure? -puts on temari's clothes-

All: he was too willing!

Gaara: am i supposed to feel special?

Temari: I ALREADY AM ONE!! WE LOVE YOU SHIKAMARU!!

Shikamru: -asleep-

Me: ok, our next reveiwer is, Zai-chan 13

_Has died laughing...wait! i'm back! with more ideas!  
Sasuke: you must dress up as a prettyful pink fairy and act like an  
orochimaru fangirl. then repeat as an itachi fangirl. then go drown yourself  
in acid XD_

Deidara: i hate you. go flirt with itachi and then go drown in acid with  
sasuke

Hinata: you are awesome! here's a giant cupcake!

Gaara: um, do you still have a teddy bear? and you get a giant cupcake too,  
cuz you rock!

Zetsu: go eat deidara. i apologize in advance for any indigestion he causes  
you.

that's all i have for now. you did a super awesome job on the last 1, so keep  
it up! and ice-cream for everybody!

Me: BWAHAHAHAHAH!! Now thats funny!

Kt: -giggles-

Sasuke: -puts on dress- OROCHIMAUR!! I LOOOOVEEEEE YOUUUUUUSSSSSS!!

Orochimaru: I know, i'm the greatest right?

Me: OK! Now go be one of itachi's fangirls!

Sasuke:...i hate you...ITACHIIII! WE LOOOOVVVEEEE YOUUUUU!!

Itachi:...tsukyomi...

Sasuke and fangirls: GAAAHHHH!! -starts foaming at the mouth-

Me: i'll just throw him in the acid! -throws sasuke in acid-

Deidara: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!? Yeah!

Me: just do it...

Deidara: Oh Itachi-kun, you're muscles are so big and strong, could you please pick up my clay for me? -acts cute-

Itachi:...tsukiyomi...

Deidara: Gaahhhh!! Yeah. -foams at the mouth-

Me: -drags Deidara and throws him in the acid-

Hinata: Thanks, but its kind of big...

Gaara: no, i dont have a teddy bear! -hides mr schnookums-

Me: you sure?

Gaara: i'm positive, and thank you for the cupcake.

Zetsu: Awww! That's nice of you! hey DEIDARA!

Deidara: Yeah?

Zetsu: is there something in my teeth?

Deidara: I dont know let me check...Hey what the!? Mm! Mfmfmfmfm!!

Zetsu: hah, preety good but he tasted like clay...

Deidara: GET ME OUT OF HERE!! Un!

Me: You'll get out next chapter, but untill then by every one! And please reveiw!!

**PLease reveiw or many Mexicans Might come into you're house and raid you of you're Coffe...**


	5. MUAHAHAHAH!

**Naruto Tourture Hour: SEASON 2!!**

Tobi: Dalton-san feels bad today because his cat is sick, so he will try to be as funny as possible! :D

Me: Shut up Tobi...and its true me cat is sick because of the stupid fleas...

Girls: Awww...he has feelings...unlike the other males.

Guys:...what a wimp...

Me: -glares at the guys- you all shall face tourture because of you're insults!

Guys: o.o

Me: OK! Let's get this started, first up is...wolf-chick xD

_um...evil torture..evil...O.O! oh i gots an idea!_

deidara: say "art sucks!" at the top of your lungs and throw all your clay  
into the acid (sorry)

hinata: your sweet! :3 but you need torture too. flirt with itachi when  
naruto's there.

naruto: switch clothes with sasuke and act emo for 72 hours X3 TEEHEE!

temari: youre awesome, but you need torture too... beat up shikamaru with  
your fan and send him into acid. (sorry)

shikamaru: just take it like a man!

sasuke: dress up like a cheerleader with pink frillies and screamt the song  
"im so pretty"

grins manicailly D

i dont like short chapters either

so...

kakasi: your awesomest! heres more of your back! :)

gaara:...your the greatest! :) you get the honors of beating up sasuGAY with  
your sand and then...( pauses for effect) beat up shikamru some more!

i think it might be time to bring sasori back from the dead! XD

sasori: your awesomerest! (is that even a word? lol) since your soo awesomest  
you get those 300 puppets back and kill orochimaru!! YAY!!

orochimaru: take it like a !! muhahahahahaha!

well thats all, muhahaaha!

everyone whos been tortured: jump into acid! and then jump into peanut  
butter!!  
caio! wolfchik

Me: Muahahahahahah!!

Deidara: WHAAAAAAATTTT!? UN!? D:

Me: i hate it as much as you do buddy...now do it! :3

Deidara:...ART SUCKS!! -throws clay in acid- Waaaahhh!! -starts crying-

Me: i cant beleive he did that...-puts on flea collar-

Hinata: how is that tourture? sounds fun.

Itachi: ...

Hinata: Oh Itachi-kuuunnnn, you're so big and strong, could you please help me with my clothes?

Naruto: WHY!? GOD WHY!? -starts crying-

Me: Bwahahahahah!!

Naruto: -puts on sasuke's clothes and becomes emo- ...hn...

Me: xD

Temari: ...why? i love Shiki-san!

Shikamaru:-asleep-

Me: Do eeet! he'll come back alive you know.

Temari: oh yeah...-starts pummiling shikamaru-

Shikamaru: GAH! -falls in acid- X.X

Me: BWAHAHAHAhAH!!

Sasuke:...-already in dress- I FEEL PREETY! OH SO PREETY! I FEEL PREETY AND WITTY AND GAY!

Kakashi: YAY! -hugs perverted books and starts reading them- :3

Gaara:...-uses sand burial on shikamaru-

Shikamaru: Gah! X.X

Saqsori: -somes back- MUWAHAHAHAHAH!! I'M BACK TO KILL THE MAN WHO KILLED ME! -points to author- YOU!

Me: you're right i killed you, now here are you're puppets.

Sasori: -turns into a chibi- YAAAAAYYYYY!! -starts shooting Orochimaru with stuff-

orochimaru: Nooooooooooooooooo!! -dies-

All-who have been tourtured-: WHAT!? WHY PEANUTBUTTER!?

Me: just do eet, except for hinata and temari :3 -pushes all the guys who have been tourtured into the acid- ok, next up is...thiefkingbaka4eva!!

_ROTFLMHO  
i'm back! muahahahaha!  
Itachi:you suck. beg for Sasuke's forgiveness on your hands and knees and let  
him do what he will to you.  
Gaara:i'll resist. you are awesome! -hugs-  
Kakashi:eat ramen until you barf  
Naruto:watch Kakashi eating ramen. you don't get any.  
Neji:read Kakashi's ENTIRE collection of pervy books until you can recite  
them backwards.  
Hinata:beat Sasuke into a bloody little pulp.  
Ino:shave your head bald and wear Choji's outfit. (randomness!)_

i'll probably come back with more at some point. happy writing!

Itachi:...SASUKE!! PLEASE FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEE!! -starts crying-

Sasuke:...I FORGIVE YOU ITACHI-SAN! I just wanted you to apologize! -hugs-

Itachi:-inside mind- WTF!? He's got problems...

Gaara:...no hugging...

Kakashi:o.O weird tourture...but whatever...-starts eating-

Naruto: NOOOOO!! T.T

2hours later...

Kakashi: ngh...i feel like i'm gonna...-pukes on Naruto-

Naruto: GAH! IT BURNS!

Neji:-already reading and getting a nosebleed-

Hinata: YAY!! -activates byakugan and starts pummiling Sasuke-

Sasuke: -dies- X.X

Ino: b-but...fine..-shaves head and puts on choji costume- T.T

Me: Yay! next up is Zai-chan13!!

_ROTFLMAO! great job! the author gets a giant hershey bar! hm, today i feel  
like torturing deidara...  
deidara: you must kiss tobi, put on a hannah montana costume and do the  
chicken dance, admit to sasori he is right about art, cut your hair into a  
mullet, and then watch highschool musical (eww...) eight times. both of them.  
muahahaha!_

here is some popcorn and soda for everyone to enjoy while watching deidara  
humiliate himself. oh, and hinata? please record this, put it on a dvd, and  
send me a copy. thx!

:D Zai-chan  
p.s: zetsu, you have my permission to eat deidara again if you wish. or  
hidan. i don't mind! :)  


Me: YAYYY!! -starts eating-

Sasori: YAY! This'll be good, -starts eating popcorn-

Deidara: why me...yeah. T.T -kisses tobi-

Tobi: OMG! DEIDARA-SEMPIE IS GAY! AHHHHHH!! -runs away-

Deidara: -puts on hannah monntanna outfit- buck,buck,buck,bukooock! -starts acting like a chicken-

Sasori: YAY! THE TRUTH SHALL BE REVEALED!!

Deidara: S-s-sasori...y-you are right...art should be treaseured and last forever...GAH! -starts foaming at the mouth-

Sasori:Yay! I'm so happy! :D

Deidara: -makes hair into mullet and starts watching the highschool musical movies- GAH! IT BURNSSSS!!

Hinata: DUN! i'll send the copy now!

Zetsu: i think i'll eat hidan, Deidara tasted to much like clay -sticks toungue out in disqust- -eats hidan-

Hidan: WTF! GET ME OUT OF THE H HOLE!

Me: Well that is all tthe time we have today, please reveiw! or the world will end...jk but still.

**I DONT OWN NARUTO!! BUT PLEASE REVEIW!! OR THE MONKEYS WILL ATTACK!!**


	6. Sleep!

**Naruto Tourture Hour: SEASON 3!!**

Me:-asleep-

Inuyasha: Shhhh!! Don't make a sound, if you wake him up, we will all die!!

Itachi: since when did you get here?

Inuyasha: he sent me a E-mail, saying that he was going to sleep for a chapter so i'm the host for now.

Deidara: as long as you don't bite me.

Inuyasha: i'll ignore that, anyway our first reveiwer is, Vikings love Ranch.

_-crosses arms and pouts-_

hmmph, where's MY torture?

Okay… let's see,

Let's have Naruto READ A TEST BOOK! MWAHAHAHA! THE NON-NOVELY NESS! IT  
SHALL MAKE YOUR BRAIN EXPLODE!

Shikamaru: …your cool, …but you must be tortured as well, dress as Barbie  
coughcoughbarbie'satotalslutandmustdiecoughcough…and treat gaara as ken  
(is that sick or what , yes, yes it is.)

Neji: put on an MJ outfit, and harass Itachi

Itachi: I wub you! Beat up neji for his creepiness!

Hinata: Here's a cinnamon roll

And Naruto, Lee, Sasuke, and sakura sing "Backstreet boys are gay" at a  
Backstreet boys concert

Angry concert mob: Throw pitchforks at them!

CHYEAH! VIKINGS ARE AWESOME!

Inuyasha:heh, these are funny...oh wait..this was from pie..._  
_

Naruto: what? i can't handle a textbook! let a lone a sentence!

Inuyasha: SHHH!!

Naruto: sorry. -starts reading-

2hours later...

Naruto:...ugh...my...mind...it...hurts...gah...-falls down on floor foaming at the mouth-

Shikamaru: such a drag...-puts on barbie clothes- hey ken, wanna go to the mall?

Gaara:...go away...

Neji:dress up as who?

Inuyasha: she means micheal jackson.

Neji: oh...-puts on Mj clothes- cmon Itachi, lets play!

Itachi...

Neji: oh, don't be so emo!

Itachi: nobody calls me emo...-pulls out kunai-

Neji: oh crap...-painful screams are heard-

All: oh no...-turn to where author is-

Inuyasha: don't worry! i put earplugs in his ears!

All: -sigh in releif-

Hinata: yay! cinnamin roll!

Naruto,Lee,Sasuke,Sakura: Backstreet boys are gayyy!! so very gaaayyy!! they make me wanna say, hey! yer gaayyyy!!

Bacstreetboyfans: HEY! YOU CAN'T SING THAT ABOUT OUR FAVORITE BAND! -throws flaming pitchforks at them-

Naruto,sasuke,Lee,Sakura: GAH! -on fire and bleeding-

Inuyasha: ok, next up is, Zai-chan13! wait, who is that?

_WOOT! that was hilarious! torturing deidara is soo fun! but now i feel like  
torturing emo boy, i mean Sasuke.  
sasuke: hug deidara, sing hannah montana songs as loud as you can for 3 hours  
straight, eat 2 tons of all the foods you hate, go up to naruto and sakura and  
beg for forgivness, glomp barney, and then sing with barney_

everyone but sasuke and deidara: torture sasGAY and deidara in whatever way  
you wish :D

here's popcorn, soda, and candy to enjoy while sasuke and deidara are  
tortured. have fun! :D

Zai-chan

Sasuke: uhhh...why?

Inuyasha: oh, Dalton gave me a letter explaining that ehem -reads letter- if any of the guys except for the people who are my favorites will be asploded if they don't do the tourtures.

Sasuke:...darn...-hugs deidara-

Deidara: OMG! THAT'S DISQUSTING! -pukes out of hands-

Sasuke: ahem...EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES!

All: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

3hours later...

Sasuke: blech, i need to rinse out my mouth...

Pein: not until you eat that food!

Sasuke: oh right...well first is ramen...second is anything sweet...

Inuyasha: well here they are!

Sasuke: i hate this...-starts eating-

2hours later...

Sasuke: ugh...i don't feel so good...

Naruto: you wanted to say something Sasuke?

Sakura: hmmm?

Sasuke: yeah i wanted to say...I'M SORRY!! -starts crying-

Naruto: what a wimp...

Sasuke: Barney? i thought we sent him to jail?

Inuyasha: meh, i dunno.

Sasuke: -glomps barney- BARNEY SING WITH ME!

Barney: OK SASU-KUN!

I love you you love me...

Inuyasha: ok, i'm cutin it off there! and i think they all just want sasuke to blow up!

Deidara: i can do that, yeah. -makes a clay statue of Itachi-

Sasuke: Itachi! I WELL KELL YOUUUU!! -uses chidori on the statue and blows up-

Inuyasha: heh, that was funny...

Me:-wakes up- alright...who woke me up...

All: -point to sasuke-

Me: Saassssuuuuukeeeeeeee...

Sasuke: eh...i'm scared...

Me:-sends Sasuke to another dimension- well that's all for today, please send in more reveiws so we can have even longer chapters! :D

**Please send in reveiws or Sasuke will be destroyed! and don't forget to tourture other charecters to!**


	7. Emo boy Sasuke's Destruction

**Naruto Tourture Hour: SEASON 2!!**

Me: YAAAAYAYYYYYYYYYY!! MORE EVIL TOURTURES!!

Sasuke: why does the world have to be so cruel!?

Me: because it hates you anyways, here is our first reveiwer, Vikings love ranch.

_hmm... at first i didn't want to review, because then sasuke finally die..._

but then i thought, "Let's make him die slowly and painfully!"

so sasuke: go uup to anbu headquarters, and moon them,

deidara: What does everyone have against you?! you're funny! and so, i give  
you a torture free pass for this chappie, and everytime someone wants to  
torture you, that torture automatically goes to tobi, why am i being so nice  
to you you ask? because i like you more than tobi, and since no one wants to  
torture him, he shall take your place,

tobi: Shave your head, paint your head pink, and go around smacking people  
with umbrellas, and hand them an umbrella to start smacking you with  
(unfortunately, the tortures that go to tobi, must also go to you... did you  
really think we could have a tortured-deidaraless chapter? ...no, it's not in  
the balance of things)

Sakura: go into A DARK AND SCARY PLACE a.k.a. Oro's love lounge

and Shikamaru: attempt to make Naruto smarterer, and, when thatt utterly  
fails, tie him to a chair and force him to listen to the absolutely most  
ear-piercing/bleeding mountain yodeling in the world, a.k.a, the akatsuki's  
version of high school musical.

CHYEAH! VIKINGS ARE AWESOME!

Sasuke: i have to...MOON THEM!?

Me: Bwahahahahahah!!

Anbu#1: hey whats that emo boy doing over there?

Anbu#2: i don't know, OMG! I'M BLIND!!

Anbu#1: LET'S DESTROY HIM!

Sasuke: Great...Waaahhh!!

Me: YAAAYYY!! WHat's next!?

Deidara: yay! i'm so revleived, i feel better, un.

Tobi: Nooo!! TOBI LOVES HIS HAIR!!

Me: but tobi, i'll give you a cookie if you do it!

Tobi: yay cookie! -shaves head- now to paint it! -paints his head pink- now to smack people with umbrellas!

Man: Ow! WTF Was that for!?

Tobi: Tobi's being tourtured, now smack Tobi back!

Man: Ok! -starts smacking Tobi-

Deidara:Why me? T.T

Me: because it's funny!

Deidara: -goes through the tourtures-

Sakura: Orochimaru's...LOVE LOUNGE!?

Me: it's a dark and scary place, trust me...

Sakura: -walks into Orochimaru's Love lounge- OMG! IT'S FREAKING HIDIOUS! I'M BLIIINNNND!!

Shikamaru: that's an impossible task, Naruto's to stupid. -points to naruto who is picking his nose-

Me: well, would you rather Asplode?

Shikamaru: no...

Naruto: hi Shikamaru!

Shikamaru: Naruto, i'm gonna make you smarter, so start reading the Konoha Dictionary.

Naruto: uhhh...ok?

2hours later...

Shikamaru: uhh Naruto?

Naruto:-on the floor foaming at the mouth and screaming something about words-

Shikamaru: -sigh- time fo the Akatsukis version of High School Musical. -puts a Cd in a CD player and puts the headphones on Naruto-

Tobi: Together, together, together almost everyone!

Itachi: STFU!! -slams a chair over Tobi's head-

Kisame: Fiisssshhh!! Wonderfull Fiiiissshhhh!!

Hidan: OH MY F GOD! WHY THE HE ARE WE DOING THIS SH ANYWAYS!?

Konan: because we are being paid.

Kakuzu: It's the start! of something new! me and you...MONEY!!

Naruto: OMG! IT HURTS MYMIIINNNND!! -ears start bleeding-

Medic dude: my god, this must have been some horrible singing.

Tester guy: hmmm...-puts on headphones- OMG! MY MIIIINNNNDDD!! -brain turns to mush-

Me: i love tourtures...anyways, next is Zai-chan13

_muahahahahaha! nice. btw, how's your cat doing? you said it was sick.  
anyways...  
itachi: do the polka. on national tv. while wearing purple plaid pants and a  
pink 'i love barney' t-shirt._

naruto: your awesome, but...you must hug orochimaru! then you can have a  
giant bowl of ramen

zetsu: you must eat...SALAD! with ranch dressing of course.

deidara: hm...you must glomp sasori...

sasori: beat the crud out of deidara for glomping you. then go pretend you're  
pinochio for the rest of the day.

pein: stick a giant super magnet to your face. then try to rip it off.

sakura, ino, tenten, temari, hinata, konan: beat the crap out of sasuke

sasuke: take it like a man! if you complain, zetsu has my permission to eat  
you.

lol, that's all i have for now. here are some kit kats for you all to enjoy.

Zai-chan  


Me: thanks, my cats feeling a lots better :D

Itachi:...no...

Me: can't exactly make him do it...so i'll send the tourture to Madara!

Madara: Wtf!? the polka? how do you even do the polka?

Me: i don't know. but it sounds funny!

Madara: ...i hate you man...

Me: i know. NOW DO IT! -pointing many mechine guns at madara-

Madara: ok...-puts on I Love Barney Shirt- umm...what music do i dance to?

Me: polka music?

Madara: oh...-turns on music and starts dancing-

Announcer guy: Please put you're hands together for Madara the polka dancer!

Madara: -inside mind- GAH! I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOU MOTHER FRS!

All: BWAHAHAHAHAH!!

Me: oh yeah...did i mention Naruto is in the shark tank? -Points to tank-

Naruto: -in chains- AHHHHH!!

Kisame: MUAHAHAHAHAH!! -trying to bite Naruto-

Me: so umm...how do i put this delicatley...he will die in ten days.so instead. Pein will suffer hugging the evil Michela Jackson!

Oro: IT'S OROCHIMARU!!

Me: whatever...

Pein: um...do i really have to D-oisan? -Oisan means nephew Oichan means neice i think-

Me: yes. or all of you're ice cream and sake will be destroyed.

Pein: OK! I'll do it...

Oro: awww...peineiekun...how sweet.

Pein: -hugs- omg..i think i'm gonna...-pukes-

Deidara: you gotta be kidding me...

Me: no. i think she's serious. -you're a girl correct?-

Tobi: TOBI GOES FIRSST!! -glomps sasori-

Sasori: AGHH!! IT'S A BUG! GET IT OFF!!-thorws Tobi off and blows him up with a rocket launcher-

Deidara: o.O i'm ascared...

Me: no more clay for you then.

Deidara: fine you jerk. yeah. -glomps sasori-

Sasori: AAAAHHHHH!! IT'S A CLAY WOMEN! GET HER OFF!!

Deidara: clay...WOMEN!?

Sasori: throws Deidara and throws random bras at him-

Zetsu: can it be a human salad?

Me: no.

Zetsu: can it be...a cookie salad?

Me: no...

Zetsu: BUT I DON'T WANNNAAAA!! WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! -starts crying-

Me: but if you dont, who gonna be my man eating plant!?

Zetsu:...you're right...I GOTTA DO IT FOR THE PLANT POT!!

Me: wow...i didn't think that would work...

Zetsu: i-i-i'm sorry vegetables...-starts eating- Waaaahhhh...-sniff-

Pein: -still puking- ugh...i think i need my stomach pumped.

Me: take the magnet.

Pein: -grabs magnet- what the heck am i supposed to do with this thing? -magnet grabs to his face- AHHHH!! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!

Hnata Konan Tenten and Temari: WIth pleasure..-crakcs knuckles-

Ino and Sakura: WAAAHHH!! SASUKE KUN!!

Sasuke: hn, those two couldn't hurt me even if they wanted to.

Ino and Sakura: WHHHAAAAAATTTT!?

Sasuke: uhh...-sweatdrops- AHHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHH!! -gets beaten into a steaming lump on the floor-

All: HURRAY FOR KIT KATS!!

Me: I GET THE MOST! -jumps into a pile of kit kats-

Itachi: i want reese cups...

Me: how about a Reeske cup?

Sasuke: STOP MAKING CANDY THAT LOOKS LIKE ME!!

Me: -bites- awesome! i got a rib!

Zetsu: -bites- I got an arm!

Tobi: -nites- I got his Eyes!

Itachi:...give me one of those.

Me: Welp, that's all the tourtues we have for tody, i'm sorry if i forgot any, please don't get mad...GET NLAD! -holding candy bar with Naruto on it-

Naruto: what is wrong with you?

Me: nothing. Now please review! for every reveiw you get a free Reeske cup or Crobi bar! -crobi bar. Crunch bar and Tobi- so please reveiwwwww!! or we'll find you...-in men in black suit-

**PLease reaveiw...if you don't...THEN WHO'S GONNA GET ALL THESE REESKE CUPS!?**


	8. Hurray for ramen!

**Naruto Tourture Hour: SEASON 2!!**

-behind the scenes-

Me: -hiding-

Sakura: DANGIT!! COME OUT OR NO DOG TREATS FOR YOU!!

Me: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! NEVVVERRRRR!!-runs away-

Itachi: is it that time of the month?

Sakura: yeah, he gots to go to the vet today, BUT HE WON'T GO!!

Itachi: well...you could always tell him you're going to france to destroy the evil rude frenchie people.

Hinata: or you could tell him i'm ready to have 'fun'

All: o.o

Me: fine Hina-tenshi...i'll do it for you...

-at the vet-

Me: NONONONONONONONONO!! NOT THE SHOT! ANYTHING BUT THE SHOT!!

Vet: HOLD STILL!!-injects shot-

Me: OW! YOU WILL BE DESTROYED!! -takes bazooka and destroys vet-

Hinata: that wasn't so bad was it?

Me: maybe...

Itachi: c'mon, lets go back to the studio...it's about time for you to host anyways...

Me: fine...BUT FIRST I WAN RAMEN!

Itachi: -slaps forhead-

-at studio-

Me: -slurping ramen-

Itachi:...he brunt a huge hole in my wallet...-sobbing over loss of money-

Me: -sigh- would you rather me literally burn a hole in it?

Itachi: maybe...

Me: anyways, our first reveiwer is Zai-chan13.

_OMG i wanna reeske cup!! lol! and yes i'm a girl. and tell ur cat i said hi.  
i like cats. anywho..._

Deidara: u must guess y i hate you. if you get it right, u have to glomp  
pein. if u get it wrong, u have to glomp pein and jump into an active volcano.  
good luck!

Sasuke: lol go buy a bunch of roses and chocolates and give them to deidara!

Tobi: uhh...you must eat a giant plate of...BROCCOLI!! muahahahaha!

Hey...is Karin there too? if she is, she has to go jump in an active volcano  
too.

Rootbeer floats for all! :D

Zai-chan

Me: you can meet her now! come on out Delilah! -opens cage and a black panther comes out-

Delilah: RAAWWRR!!

Naruto: -wet himself-

Me: Good kitty! -glomps-

Delilah: -puuuurrr-

Deidara: uhh...you hate me because...i like clay?

Me: i think we have to wait till next chapter to find out the answer.

Sasuke:...chocolates...AND ROSES!?

Deidara: I'M NOT A GIRL!!

Sasuke: and yet you look a lot like one...

Deidara:...

Tobi: Broccoli? did you say...BROCCOLI!? THE DREADED AND EVILI BROCCOLI TOBI WISHES TO DIE!?

Me: YES TOBI! now eat it.

Tobi: B-B-BUT TOBI HATES BROCCOLI!! TT

Me: BUT YOU'RE GONNA EAT IT!! -shoves broccoli in Tobi's mouth-

Tobi: gag! -starts making choking noises-

Karin: What'd i ever do to you?

Me: YOU RUBBED MINE AND INUYASHA'S EARS!! AND IT'S REALLY ANNOYING!!-pushes karin in the volcanoe-

Karin: NOOOO!! -dies-

Me: YAY, ROOTBEAR FLOATS! -starts drinking- Ok's, next up os Vikings Love Ranch!

_YAY! THANKS FOR USING THE REESKE AND CROBI IDEA!_

…I shall have a Reeske cup! Yum! A knee!

Oh yeah, tortures… right…  
Gaara: -menacing voice- Gaara… you shall play… PWITTY PWINCESS DWESS UP!  
WHY AM I TAWKING WIKE DIS?! I DUNNO! WAY WAY!

Sasuke: …you shall start a new movie phenomenon (wow, that is a big  
word…) SASUKE WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY! MWAHAHAHA!

Tobi: WATCH THE MOVIE!

Deidara: Also watch the movie! And when you realize how completely bad it is,  
beat the crap out of sasuke!

Naruto: I REALEASE YOU FROM THE SHARK TANK! Instead, you may go into snake  
pit…

Kisame: -starts a chant- WE WANT SUSHI! WE WANT SUSHI! WE WANT SUSHI!

Yay!

Ichiraku's on Naruto's credit card! (ha! And since he's in the awesome  
snake pit he can't have any!

CHYEHA! VIKINGS ARE AWESOME!

Gaara: PRETTY PRINCESS DRESS UP!?

Me: NOOO!! THE DREADED PRINCESS DRESS OF DOOMM!! -hides behind tree-

VLR: Well? Are you gonna play?

Gaara: -gulp- y-yes maam...-puts on dress with blonde hair clip things in pink nail poilish pfft...nail polish...BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!-

Announcer guy: Coming this fall to a theater near you... witness a new Wonka movie...

Sasuke: Come with me and you'll get to see my chocolate factory!

Announcer guy: starring Sasuke Uchiha...Itachi Uchiha...and speacial guest star Tobi...witness one of the most idiotic movies of this fall...

Itachi: hey check it out! it's a chocolate fountain!

Tobi: TOBI LOVES CHOCOLATE!! -eats chocolate-

Sasuke: that's not chocolate, that's the sewer line.

Tobi:...-pukes-

Announcer guy: Sasuke Wonka and the chocolate factory!! coming to a theater near you...

Tobi: OMG! TOBI STARRED IN IT AND IT STILL SUCKS!!

Deidara: OMG! I THINK I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE!!

Tobi: -in movie- Hey look! the famous Sasuke wonka candy! -points- FUDGE NUTS!!

Sasuke: you don't wanna eat that.

Tobi: why?

Sasuke: those arent really NUTS like the peanuts...

Tobi:you mean...Tobi's eating...man place nuts?

Sasuke: er, yes.

Tobi: OH MY GOD!! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Sasuke: it wasn't my idea!

Orochimaru: IT WAS MINE!!

Itachi: OMG!! IT'S MICHEAL JACKSON!!

MJ: OH NOES! I'VE BEEN FOUND OUT!! -runs away-

All: WTF!?

Deidara: SASUKE! YOU EMO BOY! YOU'RE MOVIE SUCKS! yeah.

Sasuke: HEY! I WAS FORCED TO DO IT!!

Deidara: I DON'T CARE!-blows sasuke up-

Naruto: Snakes? whats scarey about snakes?

Me: remember when you got eatin by one? -petting delilah-

Naruto: oh yeah...AHHHHH!! -snakes eat Naruto-

Kisame: -hiding in closet- why do they come after me wanting sushi!? WHY!?

Me: -busts open door- THERE HE IS! GET THE FISH MAN!!

Delilah: RAAWWWRRR!! -bites kisame-

Kisame: GAH! -gets malled by my cat-

Me: YAY ICHIRAKUS!! I LOVE THERE RAMEN! IT'S LIKE I'M EATING A FOOD VERSION OF HEAVEN!!

Naruto: YEAH! DATTEBYO!!

Me: GO AWAY NARUTO! -pushes naruto back into the snake pit-

All: o.o

Me: Welp, please review!! and tell you're freinds! seriously, so we can have more chapters! PLEASE!! I BEG OF YOU!!

**PLease reveiw! Of you do you get an Ice cream Nandwich! Ice cream sandwich mixed with Naruto! and tell you're freinds! if you do you'll get a free Crobi bar or Reeske cup!**

**Sasuke: I'M NOT CANDY!!**

**Seriously though, please reveiw!!**


	9. BEHOLD! LOVE!

**Naruto Tourture Hour: SEASON 2!!**

Announcer: _**In a world where Naruto charecters are real, one author will make the funniest fic ever...**_

Me: WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE!?

Announcer: -sniff- but i don't have anywhere else to go...

Me: really? well i know somewhere you can go.

Announcer: REALLY!?

Me: yeah sure, it's in here. -opens closet-

Announcer: YAY! -goes in closet-

Me: -slams and locks closet- MUAHAHAHAH!! Now you can't get out! and you will have to face teh evil and dreaded Nacho Man!

Nacho man: NACHOOOO!! -throws nachos at announcer-

Announcer: GAH! -face discenigrates-

Me: now that he's gone, allow me to tell you our first reviewer. And her name is Zai-chan13!!

_MUAHAHAHAHAHA! awesome as usual. oh, a panther! can i pet her?! i'm not  
allowed 2 have a cat T.T..._

Deidara: you were...WRONG! now go glomp pein and jump into the active volcano  
w/ karin. and guess again!!

Karin: in answer to your question, you just annoy me. now get out of the  
volcano and cover yourself in shark food. then jump in the shark tank :D

Naruto: you must...take finals for algebra!! they shall hurt your brain!

Itachi: go give Hidan a great big hug!

lol, today's treat is...CHOCOLATE SILK PIE!!

oh, and by the way, sasuke has to go on a date with karin. you didn't think  
you were getting out of torture today were u? no, that would be like a crime  
or something.

insert evil chuckles here  
Zai-chan

Delilah: Meow!

Me: YES YOU CAN PET HER! but how are you gonna get here?

Deidara: I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU HATE ME!? yeah. but let me guess again, you hate me because you think even though i'm a guy i'm prettier than you? un.

All: pfft...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Deidara: -glomps pein unwillingly-

Pein: OMG! GIRLY MAN GERMS!!

Deidara: -vein pops out of head- SCREW YOU! -jumps into volcanoe-

Karin: i like sharks.

Me: then you're gonna love these. MUAHAHAHAHAH!!

Karin: YAY! -dumps rotten fish all over body- HERE SHARKY SHARKY SHARKY!!

-giant shark eats karin-

All: o.O

Naruto: algebra?

Me: AHHH!! THE DREADED ALGEBRA! IT BUUURRRNNSSSS!!

Naruto: uhh...-starts working problems- ugh...so...boring...-passes out-

Me: is he dead? -pokes with hstick-

Itachi:...

Hidan: WTF!? WHY THE H( WOULD YOU SUGGEST SOMETHING SO GAY!?

Me: -hiding in tree- u-u-uh because you need to CALM DOWN!! -takes machine gun and starts shooting hidan-

Hidan: WAAAHHH!! -hugs Itachi-

Itachi:...Tsukiyomi...

Hidan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! -foams at teh mouth-

Me: YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY OF MY PIE!! -takes pie and runs-

Zetsu: uh-oh, somebody's hyper...

Me: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Sasuke: HOW CAN I GO ON A DATE WITH HER!? SHE'S IN A SHARKS STOMACH!!

Me: -pushes sasuke in shark pit-

-giant shark eats sasuke-

-inside shark-

Sasuke: so karin, how are the clams?

Karin: theyre great! oh who am i kidding!? WE'RE IN A SHARK! WE COULD DIE ANYMINUTE!!

-outside shark-

Me: HAH! they don't realize it's a mechanical shark! anyways, next up is Vikings love ranch!

_Pie: MWAHAHAHA! ICREAM NANDWHICH!_

oh, and canya just call me pie instead of vlr if ya do that?

alright cracks knuckles OWOWOWOWOW! sniffles that hurt...

ANYway...

Sasuke: you must STAPLE YOUR HEAD TO ITACHI'S!

Itachi and Sasuke: Go around like that for the whole chapter! (ha! now itachi  
must suffer with sasuke!)

Tobi: replace your head with a furry basketball and see if anyone notices the  
difference, and if no one does, you must eat a crobi bar

gaara: eat a strawberry... then go to the police, and attempt selling them a  
pretend drug in the form of brocilli! (yay! nowbrocilli will be illegal!)

Sasuke: go to a circus, take a clown, and shove it in the closet with  
naruto

Naruto: be SMART for five minutes!

sighs okay, that's all i have for now

btw, ZaiChan is so funny! Your reviews rock! Kudos to you!

CHYEAH! VIKINGS ARE AWESOME!  


Me: first we must get him out of the mechanical shark!

-Sasuke gets puked out of shark-

Sasuke: GAH! AIR! GROUND! IT'S BEUTIFUL!! -kisses ground-

Me: -points blade at neck- you'll be dead if you don't do the tourture.

Sasuke: why are you so cruel? -sobs-

Itachi: Sasuke? what are you doing?

Sasuke: stapiling you're Forehead protector to mine. -SNAP-

Itachi: AGHHH!! DA!& YOU SASUKE!! -stabs sasuke-

Sasuke: GAH! ITACHIIIII!! -punches Itachi-

-Itachi and Sasuke get into a big fight-

Tobi: a furry basketball? That sounds exicting! -puts on furry deflated basketball-

Deidara: hey Tobi. un.

Hidan: F&( OFF TOBI!

Itachi:Hn...

Pein: sup Tobi.

Zetsu: TOBI LET ME EAT YOU!!

Sasori: TOBI! BECOME MY PUPPET!!

Tobi: nobody Noticed Tobi. Tobi now has to eat a crobi bar! -bites crobi bar- AGH!! TOBI BIT HIS OWN LEG!!

Gaara: strawberry? STRAWBERRY!? -get all menacy looking-

Me: yeah, a strawberry.

Gaara:...OK! -eats strawberry-

Cop#1: man...i need some dope, uh i mean...hugyys...

Cop#2: yeah, but it's really expensive...

Gaara: HEY COP GUYS! CHECK IT OUT! IT'S A NEW DRUG CALLED BROCOFOPOLY!!

Cop#1: GIMME!! -takes brocoli- how do we use it?

Gaara: crush it with sand.

Cop#2: we can't menipulate sand...

Gaara: -crushes brocoli with sand- THERE!

-cops snort brocoli-

Cop#1: -high- heheheheh...

Me: WOW! IT ACTUALLY WORKED!!

Sasuke: a clown? wow...weird...

-at circus-

Clown: HUHUHUHUHUH!! I'MMA CLOWN! AND I CAN DO THIS!! -blows up ramen-

Sasuke: HAHAHAHAH!! THAT'LL TOTALLY FREAK NARUTO OUT!!

-back at studio...-

Me: NARUTO! THERE'S A LIFE TIME SUPPLY OF RAMEN IN HERE!!

Naruto: RAMENRAMENRAMEN!! -goes in closet-

Clown: HUHUHUHUH!! I'MMA CLOWN! AND I CAN DO THIS!! -blows up ramen-

Naruto: AGHHHHH!! TH EBIL CLOWN!! WHAT'S EVEN WORSE IS HE DESTROY'S RAMEN!! -bangs head against wall-

Me: -opens dorr-

Naruto: -comes out wearing scholar outfit- EMc2...

Me: GAH! THE SMARTNESS!! IT BURRRRNNNNNSSSSS!! -hides behind door-

Itachi:...let me read the next reveiw...it's from RakuraIaro.

_Yay! a Nandwich! -munch-  
Ok my tortures are:_

Naruto:make out with sasuke for an hour!

Sasuke:Act as if you like it! -mwahaha-

Sakura:Give Lee chocolate and tell him you would like to go out with him  
sometime

Lee:Reject her, then slap her, then go beat up Gai

Gai:When he's done, throw him into a barral of peanut butter

Kiba:Exchange Akamaru for a kitty

Ino:Be a chouji fan girl for a day

Chouji:Go on a diet that involves no barbeque or sweets, just veggies and  
fruits and water

Kakashi:Beat up Jiraiya and scream."Stop writing pervy books!"

Jiraiya:Do what he says and stop writing pervy books. Instead, write about  
kitties and ponies being friends. Oh yeah, and stop going to the hot springs

Tenten:Stab Neji over and over

Neji:Yell,"AH THAT FEELS SO GOOD!" while she's doing it

Hinata:Make out with Jiraiya

Shikamaru:Stay up for 72 hours

Kankuro:Eat all of Gaara's cookies

Gaara:Kill Kankuro for eating all of your cookies

Temari:Tell Konan that she's sexy

Pein:Exclaim she isn't

Konan:Beat Pein into a bloody pulp

Ok I think that's enough...

WAIT! Give Sasori and Sai a brownie, cuz they're awesome  


Naruto and Sasuke: WHAT!?

Me: -mauling mailman-

Itachi: D said that the example shown -points to me mauling mailman- that will happen to you if you donnot do any of the tourtures.

Naruto:...i hate you all...

Sasuke: ditto...-kisses Naruto-

Censoryguys: GAH!! QUICK! PUT A SESNOR BAR OVER THEM!!

-censor bar cnesors sasuke and Naruto-

Sakura: as lng as i don't make out with him. -gives Lee chocolates- wanna go on a date?

Lee: -gulp- N-NO WAY! -slaps sakura-

Gai: LEE!! WHAT'RE YOU DOING!! -getting the shiznit beat out of him-

Lee: SORRY SENSIE!! -crying-

Gai: I'M SORRY LEE!! -throws Lee into a giant barrel of peanubutter-

Kiba:...why a cat?

Me: -eating shrimp- i dunno, wanna shrimp?

Kiba: sure.

Me: WELL TO BAD!! -runs away with shrimp-

Kiba:...jerk...-goes to pet exchange place-

Pet exchanger: WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU!?

Kiba: yeah...can i exchange this dog for a -gulp- cat?

Petexchanger: so sorry...we don't exchange dogs. -kicks Kiba out-

KIba:...wow...

Ino: -wearing choji memorabilia...wait, Wtf!?- -sigh- the things i do for shrimp...CHOJI YOU FREAKIN ROCK!!

Choji: no...Barbeque? Or sweets!? ...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! -jumps off of cliff-

All: OO

Kakashi: -shellshock- O.O

Jiriya: uhh...

Kakashi: -under sasori's puppet control- DIE!! AND STOP WRITING PERVY BOOKS!! -blows up Jiriya-

Jiriya: -in heaven- crap...-writing books about ponys...NOOOOOO!!-

Tenten: -sniff- but i don't wanna hurt Neji-kun...

Neji: don't worry Tenten, it's destiny...

Tenten: whatever...-starts stabbing neji over and over-

Neji: OH YEAH BABY!! -holding back tears- THAT FEELS GREAT!!

Tenten:...must...resist...the...urge to...make love...to...Neji!

All: Wtf!?

Me: NO!! HINAT-TENSHIE!! DON'T DO EET!!

Hinata: I WON'T DO IT!!

Me: wait! i have an idea...-puts on Jiriya costume-

Hinata: YAY!!

Me and Hinata: -making out-

All: GO INTO THE CLOSET!!

Shikamaru: 72 hours? that's like...3 days!

Itachi: tsukiyomi...

Shikamaru: -goes into tourture place where he's forced to stay awake-

Kankuro: I like cookies...-eats cookies-

Gaara: -walks in room- Kankuro? did you eat meh cookies?

Kankuro: -face full of cookies- uh...no?

Gaara: -gets all menacy- Die! GIANT SAND BURIAL!! -makes giant wave of sand fall on kankuro and kills him-

Temari:WTF!?

Konan: let's not and say we did...

Pein: YOU BET SHE IS! I mean...NO SHE ISN'T!!

Konan:...you...-shoots Pein with machine gun-

Sasori:...i'm a puppet...I CAN'T EAT!! -crys pleadge tears-

Sai: Thanks? -fake smiles-

Me: -comes out of closet and Jiriya costume is off- WHEW! Alright, our next reveiwer isSkywardShadow! -goes back in closet-

_ROTFLMHO!! The awesomeness continues!  
Naruto-  
Sasuke- grins evilly ask Naruto to teach you the Ninja Centerfold (or Sexy  
no Jutsu), and use it to flirt with Jiraiya.  
Itachi-You know what? I hate you. Go jump into a sea of rabid Itachi  
fangirls.  
Sakura-get Gaara to put sand around himself, and then throw water on him. I  
always wondered what would happen if someone did this..  
Gaara-do what you wish to punish Sakura.  
Zetsu (sp?)-Announce that you are a full-time vegetarian from now on!  
Hinata-say EXACTLY what's on your mind. For 24 hours. :)  
Neji-everyone already thinks you look like a girl, so I have four words for  
you: Cut. Your. Hair. Short.  
Love this story!! Keep doing what you're doing!!  
_

Sasuke: YAY! I mean...Hn...

Naruto: You wanted to see meh Sasuke?

Sasuke: yeah, i was wondering...can you teach me the Sexy no Jutsu?

Naruto: OO Pervert...but whatever...-teahces-

Sasuke: ok, Sey No Jutsu!! -turns into an ugly chick-

All: AHHHHHHHH!! OUR EYES!! THEY BURNNN!!

Jiriya: Hey guys i'm back!

Sasuke: Hey Jiriya-kun!

Jiriya: OMG! THE UGLINESS! IT KILLS!! -kills himself-

Sasuke:...

Itachi:...well if it isn't one, it isn't the other...

Itachifangirl: OMG!! IT'S ITAAAAAACCHIIIIIIIIIIIII!!

Itachifangirl#2: QUICK!! WHEN HE JUMPS LETS LICK HIM!!

All: o.O

Itachi: good bye cruel world...-jumps into sea of fangirls-

Sakura:YAY! SOUNDS FUN!!

Gaara: Sakura: what ius it?

Sakura: Hey Gaara? wrap sand around you're self for a second.

Gaara: uhh...ok? -wraps sand around him self-

Sakura: YAY!! -pours twenty gallons of water on gaara-

Gaara: AWW MAN!! I'M ALL WET NOW!!

Sakura: is that it?

Gaara: YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED!! -pokes sakura- MUAHAHAHAHAH!!

Sakura: eh, wow...

Zetsu: do i have to keep that promise?

Me: maybe?

Zetsu: YAY! -goes up to podium- Attention every one! I am now a vegetarion from now on!!

Me: oh about that promise, you have to keep it. -goes back inside closet-

Zetsu:...NOOOOOOOOOO!!

Hinata:-inside closet- OH MAN! D IS SO SEXY! I WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO HIM ALL DAY!!

All:...uhh...

Neji: NOOOOO!! NOT MY BEUTIFUL HAIR!!

Zetsu: -eats neji's hair-

Neji:...NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Me: -comes out of closet satisfied- hah...alright, now that that's out of my system...next up is Thiefkingbakura4eva.

_-dying laughing-  
"can it be a human salad?"  
"no."  
"can it be a cookie salad?"  
"no."  
this is gold!  
yeah, you forgot my last torture list...but no biggie; it is kinda long...  
i have but one torture this time:  
Itachi must be strapped to a pole so Sasuke (and others, if they so desire)  
can torture him all they want. happy writing  
_

Me: AGAIN! I'M SORRY!! PLEASE DON'T HATE MEEEE!! -crying-

Hinata: there there...let's go to the closet...

Me: YAY!! -grabs hiata and runs towards closet-

Itachi:...

Sasuke: MUAHAHAHAH!! I HAVE YOU NOW ITACHI!!

Itachi:...-strapped to pole-

Sasuke: CHIDORI!! -shocks Itachi a lot-

Itachi:...ow...

Sasuke: HEY EVERY BODY!! ITACHI IS FREE TO TOURTURE!! ANY ONE WANNA HELP!?

All: no...

Sasuke:...You guys suck...-walks away-

Me: -comes out of closet- -pleasured look on face- aahhh...i feel really happy now...AWW CRAP! WERE OUT OF TIME!! Ok, uhh...i'll see you all next episode! And PLEASE REVEIW!! AND TELL YOUS FREINDS!!

**OOOoooOOOooOOOO...Behold...the power of reveiwing!! PLEASE REVEIW!! AND TELL YOUS FREINDS!! AND YOU'LL GET A FREE ICE CREAM NANDWHICH, AND ALL THE RAMEN YOU CAN EAT!! So...PLEASE REVEIW!!**


End file.
